Why Every Christian Needs a Mentor (and Should Be One)

I am a wealthy man—not in finances, but in relationships. From my late teens until now, the Lord has providentially placed older saints in my life to guide me in the faith and to pour into me. Even now, as I sit in my office, I am tucked between the offices of my fellow elders, each more than forty years my senior. The privilege of gleaning from their strengths and learning from their mistakes over the years of ministry is simply invaluable. I love our eldership. Their presence has shaped my theology, tempered my character, and equipped me for pastoral ministry in ways that no book or classroom ever could.

While driving our kids around for their Sunday afternoon nap (a tool we pull out when the kids are sleepy and I want a focused conversation with my wife), I shared my burden for quality discipleship. For me, if I serve a long ministry but depart having not “commit[ed] these [truths] to faithful men who will be able to teach others also,” I have failed (2 Tim. 2:2).

As I think about the future, I want to be faithful in passing down the same inheritance I’ve received. Because at the heart of Christian discipleship lies this simple truth: we don’t grow alone. We grow because someone before us slowed down, walked beside us, and pointed us toward Christ. And in turn, we are called to do the same for others.

The Biblical Pattern of Mentorship

From Genesis to Revelation, discipleship is never solitary. Moses invested in Joshua. Eli raised Samuel. Paul poured himself into Timothy and Titus. These examples remind us that the faith is always one generation away from extinction if it is not passed down. Paul’s charge in 2 Timothy 2:2 makes this plain: “What you have heard from me… entrust to faithful men who will be able to teach others also.” The chain of discipleship is the Spirit’s ordinary means of preserving the gospel.

Mentorship, then, is not simply systematically passing along information; it’s about shaping a life. Timothy didn’t just learn Paul’s doctrine—he learned his endurance, his tears, and his hope in Christ. God’s pattern is life-on-life discipleship, truth wrapped in flesh, and theology embodied.

The Blessing of Older Saints

We live in a culture that idolizes youth. But Scripture consistently esteems the wisdom that comes with age: “The glory of young men is their strength, but the splendor of old men is their gray hair” (Prov. 20:29). Job likewise reminds us, “Wisdom is with the aged, and understanding in length of days” (Job 12:12).

Older saints bring perspective that time alone can give. They know what zeal looks like when it matures into perseverance. They know where unchecked pride leads. They know the sweetness of grace after failure. For me, when my first grandparent passed, it was like I’d lost a volume of knowledge I thought I’d have more time to explore. Their faith is weathered. Their prayers are slower, steadier. Their counsel is marked not by urgency, but by wisdom refined in the fire. Older believers are time-tested, battle-worn, and most are eager to invest in their younger siblings in the Lord.

You cannot glean this from a podcast or seminary lecture. You glean it by proximity, by watching how a man handles suffering, how he treats his wife, how he repents when wrong. These embodied lessons are treasures that younger believers desperately need. One of the worst aspects of the internet is that it’s raised bookish theologians with big heads and soft hands. Sure, they’ve learned how to articulate the Aquinan position on the intermediate state, but can they graciously stand as a believer on a blue-collar job site?

The Poverty of Going Alone

If the blessing of mentorship is so clear, the opposite is just as true: going alone is a path to spiritual poverty. I’ve seen peers in ministry stumble not because they lacked gifting, but because they lacked guidance. Proverbs 11:14 reads, “Where there is no counsel, the people fall; But in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” To live life without pursuing a mentor is a rather foolish decision. Two heads are often smarter than one, are they not? Therefore, why would I submit myself to suffering to learn a lesson that the Lord might have used an older saint to teach me from his own experience?

How to Seek Out a Mentor

Of course, mentorship doesn’t just fall into your lap. Sometimes they develop organically, like that of a godly grandfather investing in his grandson; however, most of us must pursue it. But how?

First, be intentional. Don’t look for charisma or mere skill—look for godly character. Look for someone whose walk with Christ you want to imitate. You’re not looking for celebrity, you’re looking for faithfulness.

Second, be humble. Mentorship requires vulnerability. You must be willing to confess weakness, ask questions, and admit you don’t know everything. Pride will shut the door to mentorship before it even begins.

Third, be available. Mentorship grows best in the soil of ordinary life. Don’t expect it to look like a formal program with weekly lessons. Often, it will look like riding along on errands, sharing a meal, or asking questions in the small margins of time. To put it plainly, don’t be a burden on the man/woman. They’re voluntarily investing in you; therefore, you’ve got no claim to their time.

Fourth, be quiet. I’ll be completely honest with you, this may be the hardest part for me. My mentors are Bible men, and do you know what I like to talk about? You guessed it: The Bible. If I’m not careful, I’ll catch myself twenty minutes in on a subject that’s captivated my attention. While that’s fine, and I personally love to hear my students coming to me with the same excitement, keep it in check. You’re not there to show off. You are there to be sanded, molded, and shaped by a wiser man.

And finally, be grateful. Write thank-you notes. Express how their counsel has helped you. Gratitude fuels deeper relationships.

Becoming a Mentor Yourself

It’s tempting to think of mentorship only in terms of what we receive, but discipleship is always multi-directional. You are called to be a Timothy to someone older, but also a Paul to someone younger.

2 Timothy 2:2 reminds us that the vision is generational. The truths we receive are to be entrusted to faithful men who will then pass them on to others. That means you don’t need to wait until you’re gray-haired to begin mentoring. Start now. Invite younger believers into your home. Ask them about their struggles. Open the Scriptures with them.

Even if you’re simply one step ahead, you can extend a hand backward. The baton must not be dropped.

Closing Exhortation

Mentorship is not glamorous. It won’t make headlines. It happens in kitchens, car rides, prayer meetings, and coffee shops. But it is ordinary Christianity, the way God has always grown His people.

So, if you don’t have a mentor, pray for one, seek one, and pursue one with humility. If you aren’t mentoring anyone, look around. Who is God already placing in your path? Who could you encourage, guide, and pour into? Not all mentorships are lifelong. I have found that the Lord has placed specific men in my life for specific seasons of growth.

Don’t wait for the perfect mentor; seek a faithful one. Don’t wait to be the perfect mentor; simply be a faithful one. And remember, at the end of the day, all mentorship is meant to point beyond itself. The best mentor is simply a sign pointing us toward Christ, the true Shepherd and Overseer of our souls.